After writing the last post, I’ve had some interesting conversations on Facebook.
I posted this today:
And then this:
And it seems that there are two types of people, those who use social media as a scrapbook of happy memories and those who, like me, use it to share their lives, good and bad.
After all, isn’t social media meant to be, you know – SOCIAL? If I wanted a scrapbook, I’d have a private blog.
It’s is not a coincidence that I started blogging when my marriage ended and I lost my only confidant. Suddenly, I had no-one to talk to. No-one to share the happy or the frustrating with.
It’s not that I didn’t have any friends, but there was no-one in my immediate surroundings I could just blurt things out to as they occurred to me.
So, I blurted things out onto my blog and later onto Facebook and Twitter.
It’s not my place to tell you what to do and how to use social media. Well, my Aspie self wants to tell you that you’re doing it WRONG!, but my more rational, self-taught self will let you do what you want to do and hopefully I will stop stressing about and riling against it.
I can’t be in charge of the whole world (even though I think it would be a much nicer and more ordered place if I was) but I can keep faith with what feels right to me and not let myself be “vanilla”d by how the majority of people behave. As a child and teenager, I always wanted to blend in, but now, I want to stand out. I want to learn how to bring the real me to the world and be celebrated, rather than ostracised.
It pains me when people tell me that I’m “too negative” on the internet, because as far as I can see it, I just tell it how it is.
I’m sorry if my life is not all sunshine and lollipops at times (OK, a lot of the time) and that I want to tell you about it. Actually, I’m not sorry. It’s not like I actually choose what happens. It is what it is. I tell you about it and then I move on.
When good things happen I stop and take it all in. I don’t post it on Facebook, I don’t take photos, I just stand there in the moment and let the bliss flow over and through me until it is embossed on my heart, to look at when things are grey. And that’s what feels right for me. Bragging about it on Facebook is not the first thing that springs to mind.
If there is a message I want to send (not that I’m entirely sure that there is) it is that I keep going. I am still alive. I am still there for my children. This might not seem like much to some, but believe me, a lot of the time, it is a huge achievement. Shit happens, but I carry on.
I might not be there organising super special birthday parties for my boys, or making up amazing adventures for them during the holidays, but I am there. They know I am there. They know that I will always be there.
If you want fairies and unicorns, here are some I prepared earlier:
PS: I don’t know if you know, but a significant amount of time when I write about anything related to blogging or the internet, I am taking the piss. I don’t really take it all that seriously. Unless I am writing here. Then, it is all serious.