I am so sick of being me.
I am so sick of being unhappy.
I am so sick of feeling mediocre.
Looking at others’ lives fills me with sadness, either for them, or for myself.
I play at being wise- giving others advice about choices and changes, yet I don’t seem to be able to do anything for myself.
The last few days have been filled with anxiety.
My creativity waxes and wanes, usually rearing its head at highly inappropriate times like driving a car or walking with the kids, or at the shops.
The desire to write, to create is totally gone by the time I am home, in front of the computer, or in the kitchen struggling to imagine dinner into being.
My mind is totally preoccupied with the need to find shelter. To move house again. To not have to make do without heating or cooling or a backyard.
I am tired of moving. I am tired of compromises.
I am afraid of the future.
I don’t trust myself to bring into being the things I want most.
I feel inadequate for the task at hand.
So much responsibility.
I just want to sit down. I want to rest. I want to feel safe.
Huge hugs Dorothy. I have no wise words to offer, just virtual hugs.
I understand where your comi from and it sucks…….
I wish I was close enough to you so that we could catch up for coffee. I relate to so much of what you said in your post, although for different reasons. Huge hugs to you, although I know that they probably don't do much to hold back the overwhelming feelings. Here's hoping that there is a rayof sunshine for us both tomorrow. xxx
My heart goes out to you, believe me when I say that I can understand how you are feeling. I will be thinking of you and hoping that someday these feelings will be nothing but a memory. And although you may feel alone, please know that you are not…
Hi Dorothy, unfortunately life is a struggle at times today is another day let's face it with a smile 🙂
I actually was checking my blog this morning and these quotes popped up in front of my face and I thought I share them with you……
“If you fell down yesterday, stand up today.”
“The best way to predict the future is to create it.”
Thinking of you xox
I don't have any words to make you feel better, but I wanted you to know that I read this and I hope you'll soon have a chance to sit down, to rest and to feel safe.
I am so so sorry. We have a lot more confidence in you than you do yourself. Which doesn't help at all when one is having an 'attack of the inadequacies'. I know – they punish me as well. The only solution I have found is to ride it out – which can feel interminable.
Sending many, many good wishes your way.
“I am tired of moving. I am tired of compromises.”
“I am afraid of the future.”
“I want to rest.”
Three sentences that sums up my dark days. And the others in between as well, but these jumped out and bit my heart. How well you write it. It is so powerful. I hope it eases for you and I hope you get to make roots and rest in the present. I don't think we are made to have our mind hang around in the future for too long at a time. But that is easier said than done. The responsibility…
Sending warm thoughts
So wished that there was something/anything that I could say to make it allright – wish I could be there to give you a hug/coffe/cake/chat to make your day. Please believe in yourself – you are stronger than you think xxx
My words won't comfort, there probably isn't anything I can say other than you are stronger than you think and feel. Sit and rest, just for a moment. The clouds will clear and you will see the light again, even if it is just for a moment you will see it. Know it is there. That is all you need to get through today and maybe each day. Take care Dorothy. Thinking of you. x
Take a few moments just to sit and be. Alone, doing nothing, wanting nothing. Just exist for a while. Don't fret. It's you time!