You told me the same lies you now tell her.
You said you wanted different things then, you didn’t want the simple life. You wanted stuff, you wanted money, you wanted the bright city lights, excitement.
You made everyone around us believe that you were happy, that your life was complete.
How easily and quickly you change. Like a chameleon, eager to fit into its new surroundings, to escape the danger of being found out.
I look at you now and I wonder. How did this happen? Why did this happen? Where was this person back then? Why was adultery and crime the best way to escape the life that “made you happy”?
Am I really that horrid a person that such drastic action was needed to escape? If I was so horrid why did you marry me?
Perhaps I really am crazy? Insane?
Perhaps I did this to myself?
Why do I torture myself this way?
Then I remember. People like you cannot be judged using standard norms of human behaviour. People like you can make anyone believe what they like. Even that we’re crazy, worthless and pathetic.
Intellectually, I know this, but my heart cannot stop asking, “Why?”
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