Yet, today, I realised that I’ve done the complete opposite to my own power. I’ve been shrinking from it and belittling it every day for the past several years.
You see, today I discovered that I’ve become part of the misogynistic victim-blaming culture in relation to my own experiences with domestic violence.
I have spent years now accepting responsibility for what happened, by saying that I chose to be with my ex, I chose to stay with him and I didn’t leave despite the many warning signs.
The truth is that I am NOT responsible for the actions he chose – the adultery, the lies, the sex offences, the emotional manipulation and abuse.
Today, I saw the depth of my anger at the injustice of what happened to me during the relationship and since it ended. Today, I finally saw my power and realised that I have a choice in how to use it.
I have a choice to expose him, using facts to support my claims. For the safety of my children, his children and that of their friends’ and acquaintances’.
I don’t believe sex offenders and wife abusers can be rehabilitated. I believe that my ex is a full on sociopath and that is not curable. He will continue to offend and abuse. He is a chameleon that blends into any environment and commits his abuse without anyone realising he is doing it. His victims are like frogs in a pot of water that is slowly being heated. They don’t realise what is happening until it’s too late.
He destroyed my life. He deeply affected the lives of the girl he abused and her family and he is likely doing this again to others.
I have a choice and an opportunity to stop him. To warn those in his community, by exposing him.
I don’t know if I want to do this yet. I don’t know if I want to deal with the emotional burden of such actions.
But I know I have a choice to make things right.
He destroyed my life.
I am told that the best revenge is living well. I am not living well. I am living with a deep depression caused by his abuse and my perceived lack of justice. His jail time may have been justice for his sex offences, but there has been no justice regarding his treatment of me and my children.
And I believe he should pay.
What do you think? Do you believe sex offenders should be outed, or should they be allowed to live peacefully in the community?
Image by Ronnie Macdonald.