A blog of her own

Telling it like it is

  • Home
  • Start Here
  • About
  • Share your story
  • Hire Me
    • Speaking
  • Privacy
  • Contact

I’m not a vigilante

17 October 2014 By Dorothy Leave a Comment

Infinite Batman (Black & White)
I think after the last post a few people might have been worried that I would turn into a vigilante and dedicate the rest of my life to exposing and destroying my ex.

Even I don’t have enough rage inside me to do that. I do feel enormous rage at times, but I would need to feel that all of the time to take on this kind of a vendetta.

And, frankly, it’s just not my style.

The law has dealt, as it saw fit, with my ex’s sex offences, Child Protection has been notified that he is living with small children and while I don’t like that he is being allowed to integrate back into society, this is not my call to make. I do support a public register of sex offenders, but until we get one, I will just need leave it to those appointed to protect our safety to do their job.

There is no legal action I can take to get justice for my abuse. Had the abuse been physical, I could have laid charges, but even though the Family Violence Act recognises emotional abuse as family violence, it does not provide any recourse for victims of such to seek justice.

It was, and is, important for me to understand and remember that I am not to blame for my abuse. While I was in regular contact with the health professionals in Melbourne, who knew me and my history, they constantly reminded me that it was not my fault. Again and again, I would take it upon myself to bear the blame, because “I chose him”, and again and again, my GP and counsellors would tell me, NO, he chose to ABUSE you, you did NOT choose to be abused. Hell, I didn’t even realise I was being abused, until I saw through the veil of lies and duplicity I was being fed.

I don’t have an answer right now for what would make me feel that  justice has been served. When I’m really angry, I wish to see my ex, and all those close to him, destroyed, but as I said, I don’t care enough to make it my life’s work.

So instead, I will leave it to God, the Universe, or karma, to do what needs to be done and I will live my life in the knowledge that I was not to blame for what happened.

I will continue to strive to build the best possible life I can for me and the boys.

I will, one day, write a book about my experiences and I will not pull any punches. I will arm myself with legal advice about defamation and I will gather what evidence I need to support my story.

“Story”. It’s such a funny word. It implies that what I want to write about might or might not have happened. That it’s my word against his. And that’s the problem with emotional abuse. You can’t see it. I can only rely on the feedback from my GP, counsellors and psychiatrist as evidence that I did not imagine it. I can relate individual events and conversations as evidence of lies. And he can still spin the story to make mine “imagined”.

And I guess the reality is that truth and facts can be perceived from many different view points. What I see will be different to what you see and different again to what your friend sees. And yet, we might all have witnessed the same event.

All I can do is to speak MY truth. Because that is my superpower.

Image by JD Hancock.


signature

If you liked this, share:

  • Print
  • Email
  • Tweet

Related

Previous Post Next Post

I've been blogging since 2008 and I do it because it keeps me sane.If I didn't blog, my head would explode. If you like your blogs sugar-coated and pretty looking then this is not for you. I write about life as a solo parent dealing with mental illness and recovering from long term emotional abuse. I live with two boy-children and three cats and I like wine. A lot.

I love comments! Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

About Me

I am a truth talker, opinion owner, feminist, solo parent, business owner and cat minion.

I write about whatever's in my head, because it's cheaper, and more effective, than therapy.

Support my blog

Become a Patron!

Join me on Facebook

Join me on Facebook

Follow me on Twitter

Follow me!

I use and recommend

Web Hosting

Most Popular

  • I hate being a mother - a five step rescue plan
    I hate being a mother - a five step rescue plan
  • I hate being a mother
    I hate being a mother
  • Dorothy's Table: Polish pork rissoles
    Dorothy's Table: Polish pork rissoles
  • My kids make me anxious
    My kids make me anxious
  • The Seven Habits of Highly Sociopathic Husbands
    The Seven Habits of Highly Sociopathic Husbands

My Instagram

Celebration cheesecake and selfies from the celebr Celebration cheesecake and selfies from the celebration dinner.

#celebration #newjob #cheesecake #selfie
This is what celebration looks like. Plus a chocol This is what celebration looks like. Plus a chocolate cheesecake, plus a dinner out. So good to finally have this weight off my shoulders.

In a few weeks, I will be finally working full time in Geelong and living close to the beach.

Cheers!
I am the mother of an 18 year old. It's been a har I am the mother of an 18 year old. It's been a hard slog, but we made it. Two celebrations this week, one complete with an autistic shutdown. Thank goodness for NDIS funding to help with the transition to adulthood.
Pav for a BBQ I'm going to in a bit. One day I mig Pav for a BBQ I'm going to in a bit. One day I might even make one from scratch like @cateppics
Sam and I went to see a couple of houses in Geelon Sam and I went to see a couple of houses in Geelong today and in between we visited Eastern Beach. It's like a little St Kilda, without the cake shops. Or at least we didn't find any.

This house hunting business is exhausting, when you have to travel so far. Three more trips next week. At least Sam is proving to be a fun companion.
Said goodbye to this old dear today. In our family Said goodbye to this old dear today. In our family since my older son was born. Drove him home from the hospital in it  pretty much straight from the showroom.

It stopped being reliable for me a while ago, due to lack of care, due to lack of money. Now off to another family and another life.
3 generations. Christmas 2020. 3 generations. Christmas 2020.
Two key ingredients for poppyseed strudel -a Polis Two key ingredients for poppyseed strudel -a Polish Christmas tradition. Poppyseed stuffing and the dough, ready to rise.

What are your must have Christmas foods?

Michael Buble is playing in the background.  Christmas how I like it.

#christmas #polishcooking #polishchristmas #makowiec #christmastraditions #christmasfood #polishchristmasfood
Follow on Instagram

More on…

  • ASD (7)
  • Blogging (44)
  • Children (43)
  • Domestic Violence (14)
  • Feminism (1)
  • Life (95)
  • Mental Health (167)
  • Recipe (2)
  • Reviews & Giveaways (17)
  • Sole Parenting (439)
  • Travel (10)
  • Uncategorized (18)

Subscribe via Email

Enter your email address to receive new posts in your inbox.

I learnt to run with…

Copyright 2020 A blog of her own. Designed by Dorothy K Consulting
loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.