
- Agitation – fear, grief, nervous anxiety, ‘walking on broken glass’, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, paranoia, dread and anger.
- Appetite – loss or increase of.
- Loss of creativity and joy – Depression, no interest in personal goals, loss of enthusiasm, loss of zest for life, possible loss of will to live.
- Inhibited self expression – loss of interest in appearance, not comfortable in public, wishing members of the opposite sex didn’t exist, fear of what you say and do around people, agoraphobia, social disinterest, fear of body image, decreased libido.
- Self-destructive behaviour – abuse of alcohol or drugs, promiscuity, feeling ‘addicted’ to abusive partner, suicidal thoughts or attempts.
- Isolation – rarely see family or friends, mostly stay home, not allowed to go out on own, panicking if held back at work or running late for home.
- Decreased coping skills – loss of decision-making ability, feel despair, rage or panic, being overwhelmed, bursting into tears, feeling numb.
- Physical problems – adrenaline rushes, lowered immune systems, continual body aches, exhaustion, hyper-vigilance, hormone imbalances, migraines, backache, having accidents etc.
- Sleeping patterns – insomnia or over-sleeping.
- Focus on abusive partner – obsessing over what he’s thinking, feeling and doing, and formulating how you can employ tactics to reduce the abuse.
- Confusion – no longer knowing what to believe, doubting the reality of your life and environment.
- Loss of faith in self – letting yourself down by continually forgiving and allowing abusive behaviour, losing boundary function, false hope, other people losing faith in you, inability to provide yourself with safety and stability.
- Irrational behaviour – trying to control the uncontrollable, hysteria, feeling and acting manically, ‘losing your mind.’
Sending wishes for your total recovery.
Wow, thanks for writing this. I lived through such a similar situation with an ex a while ago. For so long I thought it just my fucked up relationship. In reading other people's accounts of emotional abuse it is amazing how much it fits, how every account, though slightly different, is essentially the same story.
Thanks Dorothy, you wirte so beautifully. I wish you the best of luck in your jounrey ahead
Sending you love and light
from a fellow traveller. x
Psychological abuse is so hard to identify, especially while you live it. I am still figure out whether what I went through as a child, what my father still lives with, is emotional abuse. Living with an addict who refuses to deal with the issues from their childhood, but hides in the bottle instead, then pushes the guilt on to any family member who dares speak out about what they are living. Is it some sort of abuse, or is it simply the effects of living with the illness of addiction?
Thank you for writing this Dorothy, you've given me a lot to think about.
I have seen so many friends go through similar, and it is a far harder demon to reveal as it is hidden so well.
Thank God people like you have the courage to speak out.
It's hard because you think exactly this – no bruise, it's not abuse then. It's not physical, it's not sexual. Sticks and stones and all that.
Bullshit. Names bloody well do hurt. You take the hurtful things said deep inside and they stick like thorns. Then you think you're ok, until you move in just the wrong way and the thorns dig in again.
So clearly written. I hope this helps others. Well done. xx
Geez Dorothy, when I read this I just see myself. I know you've said the same thing to me. The parallels in our experiences…they are eery. Reading this…I started to feel sick. From the recognition, I think, the similarity.
I'm so glad our paths crossed. I know there may not be a lot of people out there who get it, but know that I do and I am here for you all the way. Sending you love from across the pond. x
I think the emotional and psychological abuse is worse than the physical. You can heal from the physical, but the internal wounds will burn forever.
My father abused me in this way, for 17 years. I a in therapy, but I don't know how you ever get mentally away from that cage that they put you in. >.< The sense of self they cut away from you, how do you ever get that back, especially when it happens from a parent?!
Thank you for sharing your story and speaking out. Love and hugs. Here from the Speak Out link.
Thanks for sharing and, yes, no matter what people say afterwards we are left feeling guilty for not taking action or being tougher or not taking a stand, which we need to remind ourselves is a left-over control of the freaks who have to crush others.
xxx
Exactly. When I was in that life, towards the end, I was wishing that he actually would hit me and THEN I would leave. It would be something concrete that I could pin on him. Or if he had an affair. As it was, I thought the emotional abuse was just the way it was supposed to be as that how Mum and Dad were.
Wow. Once again you've articulated so much I've what I've been through myself. I think I've experienced every one of those experiences and I still behave like that sometimes and it bothers me so much. It takes so long to heal … I get bothered and just want it to hurry up. I guess I have to be patient and just be grateful I've come this far. We both have. xo
Thank you for frankly addressing an often-overlooked subject! I'm sure your honesty will be appreciated by many in similar predicaments.
Dorothy, I admire how comfortably you seem to speak about this issue, I only wrote my post yesterday and it would have to be one of the hardest things I've ever done. Emotional abuse is so much harder to recognise, because often you don't realise what's going on. I really hope that some people that are in this situation read your post and recognise themselves. Even if they don't do anything about it immediately, just knowing what is happening can make a world of difference.
You really are such a wonderfully honest writer Dorothy and I don't doubt that your courage in speaking out is what will help other women in the future.
Cheers, Alli x
It has to be discussed accordingly. Even in a dental clinic florence south carolina there are medical cases that need to be addressed.
every one of those symptoms i have or have had…thank you Dorothy.
How are you today?
I can see a lot was written and commented during 2011.
I’m very well, thanks. Have never felt stronger and more in charge of my life.