I am a sole parent.
You all know that.
But what is unsaid is that I am alone. I’ve been alone for five years. I’ve had no emotional support from a partner for five years.
I’ve been celibate for five years.
Why do I tell you that?
Because, I am lonely. This time of year is a great big reminder of that.
I know I am not alone in this single parenting gig.
I know a lot of single mums.
I also know that most of them have jumped right back into the dating scene. Some have jumped right into new long term relationships.
I am alone. I am jealous of those that aren’t. I am jealous of those that have been able to jump right back into it.
Therefore I am not worthy of love. I am not worthy of being with someone. I am meant to be alone.
Once, at a wedding, a woman told me she was a palm reader. I gave her my hand and she told me I would never find love.
She was right.
I do not expect to ever find love, therefore I won’t.
I have my kids. That’s all I should need.