I think I’ve been short changing myself. As I’ve sat here and contemplated my lack of dreams, read other people’s posts from the conference, I realised that I was wrong.
I have a longing for travel. My fondest childhood memories are of travelling and exploring. Whether spending holidays with my grandmother in the country, a family camping holiday or a kids’ camp in the capital city, exploring new places is what I remember most. Even day trips to pick mushrooms, going fishing or wondering around my favourite park made me very happy.
It is possible that there may be a clue in all this. My dreams may not be ones of changing the world, helping others or being a particular profession, but they do set my heart racing.
I’d been looking forward to the Problogger conference for months and not only because of the content. Travelling somewhere new, seeing new sights, staying in a hotel, flying in a plane – all those things make me excited. Even going through airport security makes me happy, because it signifies travel.
Overcoming my fear of travelling with kids was a big challenge, but I did it when my younger son was 4 months old. Since then, I’ve travelled with them every year, even once I became alone. Planning our holidays gives me a thrill and sometimes I wonder if I enjoy the anticipation of them more than I enjoy the actual travels.
Now that the boys are older and more independent, travelling with them is easier and more enjoyable. They can entertain themselves more easily in a new place and are game to explore their new surroundings on their own.
I don’t want to spend my whole time travelling. Rest and recuperation in a comfortable and beautiful home are important to me and I dream of a beach house in Byron Bay. I can see this so clearly in my mind’s eye, that I’m sometimes surprised that I’m not there yet.
The how of all this eludes me. Travel and a Byron Bay home cost ridiculous amounts of money. Money that I am not making right now and am not sure I know how to make. Writing has been good to me and I enjoy it, writing for a living would be ideal, but so far it’s a slow road to success.
I have a third dream. I want to publish a book based on Singular Insanity. I’ve already published a few of the posts as a Kindle book and you can buy it here. (You don’t need a Kindle to read it, just the Kindle app on your favourite e-device.) Now I just have to figure out how to make the blog into a proper book with all the holes filled in. It would require a lot of new content and I am not motivated enough right now to make that happen.
So I think I will take inspiration from those bloggers who have already been published in print and start approaching some publishers. Having an online platform hopefully will help, as will the story itself.
I’m already feeling excited at the possibilities.