You think you know someone. And I guess you really do, because when you catch them lying and cheating, you are hurt, but really not that surprised. It just feels like your worst suspicions and nightmares have come true. Yet, you’ve made a life with that person and you have a history and children. And how the hell do you even begin to disentangle yourself??
I want to keep believing in the dream. I accept apologies and explanations. But am I just signing myself up for more of the same? Just because my moral code does not allow for those things, does not mean that the person I’ve chosen to spend the rest of my life with is the same. Go figure!
I guess I need to choose to either overlook the lying and cheating, for the sake of the dream, or to endure the short term pain of ending the relationship and accept that the dream was a mirage, hoping that the true dream with the person you actually want and deserve is waiting just around the corner.
It seems really obvious when written here in black and white. Then why is it so hard? Why do I keep wanting to believe and trust? Am I seeing something deeper in that person or am I just deluding myself? It would be easier if not for the children. Or is that just another excuse?
I feel like I’m in a perpetual fog. I see an outline of the thing I want, but it keeps getting distorted by the mist and shadows and I can’t quite make out or reach the thing I truly want and that I know is there. Am I looking in the wrong direction?
I want to be loved and cherished and accepted and respected and be treated with honesty and trust. I guess we all want that. How are we ever sure that that is what we’re getting? How do you ever really trust someone? How can you tell if they’re lying? Maybe if there are any doubts it’s a sure sign to get out? There must be good honest men out there who can treat me the way I deserve to be treated.
Subscribe to my newsletter