A blog of her own

Telling it like it is

  • Home
  • Start Here
  • About
  • Share your story
  • Hire Me
    • Speaking
  • Privacy
  • Contact

Writing over the past

11 March 2012 By Dorothy 8 Comments

When you experience trauma, it doesn’t take much for the memory of it to revisit you.

It’s called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Traditionally, it has been associated with people who experienced severe physical trauma, such as war, rape, severe car accidents, and even traumatic child birth.  What you may not know is that PTSD also occurs in survivors of emotional trauma.

It results in flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks, insomnia, severe anxiety, repeated re-living of the events in your mind, avoidance of situations and places that trigger memories of the event, and the list goes on and on.

I realised I was suffering from PTSD when I worked with my support group in 2010.  I began reading a lot about psychological abuse and its effects.  PTSD is one of them.

It suddenly made sense to me why I felt so anxious whenever I stepped out of my front door.  Everywhere I went, I saw reminders of what I’d been through, of the lies I’d been told and of the deceit that was worked on me.  I wanted to run and hide.  To move away, to never come back.

Thankfully, I had my group, my therapist  and my online community to keep me anchored and to help me find ways of dealing with the symptoms and lessening the effects.

I gave myself permission to run and hide.  To avoid the places that caused me the most pain.  For over a year, I would not drive past the street where our family home had been.  I did not visit the places that I most strongly associated with my “family life”.

I gave myself permission to feel angry.  Each morning after a nightmare I would revisit the dream, examine it and understand where it came from.  I realised I had every right to feel scared, because what I had been through was scary and painful.  I “owned” my feelings. I let myself cry. I also placed the cause of my pain where it belonged.

With time, I was ready for step two.  I was able to revisit the places that caused me pain. With some, I had no choice – I simply persevered and made them my own, so that the memory would be only of me and the boys.  Others took more effort, more planning, but once done they were done.  Our first road trip, our first holiday, our first visit to Scienceworks.

I was very ambivalent when I received an invitation from the Baker IDI Institute to attend a fundraising event at Cruden Farm.  You see, we went there as a family around three years ago.  It was nice at the time, but the memory of it was bitter…..

I decided to go, because it is such a beautiful place, it is close to home and I really wanted to have a day out with the boys.  And you know what?  We had a wonderful time…

You can read all about it in the next post.  I hope you will come back, because I will also be giving away two copies of the CSIRO and Baker IDI “Diabetes Diet and Lifestyle Plan“.  See you soon!


signature

If you liked this, share:

  • Print
  • Email
  • Tweet

Related

Previous Post Next Post

I've been blogging since 2008 and I do it because it keeps me sane.If I didn't blog, my head would explode. If you like your blogs sugar-coated and pretty looking then this is not for you. I write about life as a solo parent dealing with mental illness and recovering from long term emotional abuse. I live with two boy-children and three cats and I like wine. A lot.

Comments

  1. Jessie Powell says

    11 March 2012 at 4:23 am

    I'm so glad you were able to reclaim one more place that had been stolen from you.

    Reply
  2. Norlin Mustapha says

    11 March 2012 at 5:38 am

    Glad you went and that you did have fun in the end. New memories can be created from old places. xx

    Reply
  3. Saw Hole says

    11 March 2012 at 6:15 am

    Great post. We are always stronger than what we give ourselves credit for.

    Reply
  4. Trish says

    11 March 2012 at 6:18 am

    Taking things one step at a time is always important when it comes to trauma. I am glad you had support to stay anchored when the going got rough.

    Reply
  5. Elephant's Child says

    11 March 2012 at 6:26 am

    I am so happy that your trip to Cruden Farm was good.  The slow process of overlaying the traumatic memories with good ones can only help. 
    Sending so many good wishes.

    Reply
  6. erin oxenbridge says

    11 March 2012 at 9:56 am

    So glad you had a good time Dorothy xxx

    Reply
  7. Lisawsdream says

    11 March 2012 at 1:13 pm

    Looking forward to reading about your fun day out – glad you were able to go and enjoy the day with your boys.

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Fairies and Diabetes at Cruden Farm. Plus a giveaway! | Singular Insanity says:
    17 November 2012 at 10:01 pm

    […] writing over the past is as easy as revisiting an old place under different circumstances, maybe even with different […]

    Reply

I love comments! Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

About Me

I am a truth talker, opinion owner, feminist, solo parent, business owner and cat minion.

I write about whatever's in my head, because it's cheaper, and more effective, than therapy.

Support my blog

Become a Patron!

Join me on Facebook

Join me on Facebook

Follow me on Twitter

Follow me!

I use and recommend

Web Hosting

Most Popular

  • I hate being a mother - a five step rescue plan
    I hate being a mother - a five step rescue plan
  • Dorothy's Table: Polish pork rissoles
    Dorothy's Table: Polish pork rissoles
  • My kids make me anxious
    My kids make me anxious
  • The Seven Habits of Highly Sociopathic Husbands
    The Seven Habits of Highly Sociopathic Husbands
  • I hate being a mother
    I hate being a mother

My Instagram

Celebration cheesecake and selfies from the celebr Celebration cheesecake and selfies from the celebration dinner.

#celebration #newjob #cheesecake #selfie
This is what celebration looks like. Plus a chocol This is what celebration looks like. Plus a chocolate cheesecake, plus a dinner out. So good to finally have this weight off my shoulders.

In a few weeks, I will be finally working full time in Geelong and living close to the beach.

Cheers!
I am the mother of an 18 year old. It's been a har I am the mother of an 18 year old. It's been a hard slog, but we made it. Two celebrations this week, one complete with an autistic shutdown. Thank goodness for NDIS funding to help with the transition to adulthood.
Pav for a BBQ I'm going to in a bit. One day I mig Pav for a BBQ I'm going to in a bit. One day I might even make one from scratch like @cateppics
Sam and I went to see a couple of houses in Geelon Sam and I went to see a couple of houses in Geelong today and in between we visited Eastern Beach. It's like a little St Kilda, without the cake shops. Or at least we didn't find any.

This house hunting business is exhausting, when you have to travel so far. Three more trips next week. At least Sam is proving to be a fun companion.
Said goodbye to this old dear today. In our family Said goodbye to this old dear today. In our family since my older son was born. Drove him home from the hospital in it  pretty much straight from the showroom.

It stopped being reliable for me a while ago, due to lack of care, due to lack of money. Now off to another family and another life.
3 generations. Christmas 2020. 3 generations. Christmas 2020.
Two key ingredients for poppyseed strudel -a Polis Two key ingredients for poppyseed strudel -a Polish Christmas tradition. Poppyseed stuffing and the dough, ready to rise.

What are your must have Christmas foods?

Michael Buble is playing in the background.  Christmas how I like it.

#christmas #polishcooking #polishchristmas #makowiec #christmastraditions #christmasfood #polishchristmasfood
Follow on Instagram

More on…

  • ASD (7)
  • Blogging (44)
  • Children (43)
  • Domestic Violence (14)
  • Feminism (1)
  • Life (95)
  • Mental Health (167)
  • Recipe (2)
  • Reviews & Giveaways (17)
  • Sole Parenting (439)
  • Travel (10)
  • Uncategorized (18)

Subscribe via Email

Enter your email address to receive new posts in your inbox.

I learnt to run with…

Copyright 2020 A blog of her own. Designed by Dorothy K Consulting
loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.